What Zoning Codes Get Wrong About Families
Zoning codes across the country attempt to define what a "family" is, often in ways that are not only outdated but also legally tenuous at best. Many of these definitions are based on the openly exclusionary history of the rest of zoning and, like the rest of outdated zoning codes, they create unnecessary and unhelpful barriers to people housing themselves practically. The problem in enforcing these codes isn't even in defining what a family is; it's in how you prove that something is a family.
Many communities put a family definition in place as a way of preventing 3-8 young adults from sharing a house (often specifically college students). So what happens when your code enforcement shows up and the students in question stare them dead in the face and explain that they're step-siblings? What's your town going to do, forcibly DNA test them? Demand family trees and marriage certificates of all their supposedly intermarried parents? Enforcement is a practical impossibility and, more importantly, an invasion of privacy.
The reality is, family is more fluid than our zoning laws and the nuclear family structure allow — and this was true historically, as well. Are foster children — formal or informal — part of a family? What about blended families? Unmarried couples? Is a foreign exchange student part of your family? What about a great-aunt who moves in because her eyesight is failing? These are real, common living situations, but many zoning codes declare them invalid.
When we wrote Fayetteville, Arkansas’s two-ADUs-per-lot code, we intentionally left family definition protections in. We knew our city attorney felt he couldn’t actually enforce it, but people felt better seeing it there to balance the broad expansion of policy in the code. That’s the heart of the problem: These rules exist to make people feel comfortable, not because they serve any real function.
And that’s the rub: These rules are unenforceable in most states, but they still prevent people from living in arrangements that make sense for their needs. If the true concern is about the nuisances of big group houses — parties, parking, trash — then legislate those directly. Pass stronger laws and fund code enforcement of noise violations, illegal parking, houses with too many cars and other easily enforceable problems. Don’t waste time trying to police what counts as a family.
It’s time for zoning laws to reflect the complexity and reality of modern life. Instead of pretending we can enforce arbitrary definitions of family, let’s focus on what actually impacts neighborhoods and people's lives. The goal should be to create communities where people can live safely and affordably — not to gatekeep who gets to share a house.
Once you've warmed to the idea of a medium-sized group of people pooling resources to live in a more sociable, supportive (and historic) way, I can't wait to tell you about cohousing and SROs.
Learn how to reform your zoning codes to actually serve residents. Download “The Housing-Ready City: A Toolkit for Local Code Reform” and share it with your local officials.
If you’re ready to go deeper, sign up for the spring session of the Accelerator. Get one-on-one coaching from Strong Towns experts and develop a plan to make your community housing ready.
Alli Thurmond Quinlan is an architect, landscape architect and small infill developer. She is also the acting director of the Incremental Development Alliance.
