5 Places to Meet New People to Join the Strong Towns Conversation

Is your place on this map?

This is where thousands of people across North America are having the Strong Towns conversation about how to change our development patterns to help build financially resilient communities.

If there’s a Local Conversation in your area, It’s the perfect place to take the next steps on your Strong Towns journey. You can get to know others who are taking action to build strong neighborhoods, towns, and cities, and find your own role in the effort.

But if you’re like me, and there isn’t a Local Conversation in your region, you might be feeling a bit isolated and unsure of how you can start making a difference.

Friends are out there, you just need to know how to find them. 

Image via Unsplash.

You might have noticed that making friends was easier in high school and college. It wasn’t just because we had fewer bills, work hours, children, and chores to dedicate our time to. It’s because we shared time in common spaces with our classmates and contemporaries. There was abundant opportunity to make connections with other humans during the normal course of the day, and build these relationships over time.

Now that we’ve graduated, forging these sorts of connections takes a more decisive effort.

Our built environment has put vast distances between us. Welcoming public spaces where people can intermingle, as a byproduct of the necessary functions of life, are scarce. A predominant culture of automobile travel results in precious hours of personal time spent alone in a car. And the emergence of the coronavirus in 2020 drove millions to choose physical isolation.

But physical and social separation are not unmitigable features of modern life. If we are to construct resilient neighborhoods, towns, and cities, then it is, in fact, our duty to mitigate them.

The following are ways anyone can overcome the distance between them and nearby strangers, and join with them to do great things.

5 Places to Look to Make New Friends

1. Walking

Go for walks around your neighborhood. Don’t be too focused on your destination. Greet anyone you pass on the way, and introduce yourself to anyone you don’t know. Slow down to enjoy the sights. Stop to chat with people, even if it’s just about the weather. Linger in public spaces where you might bump into people.

2. Facebook

Join ten (or more!), Facebook groups that are made up of people in what is a reasonable travelling distance for you. Look for groups that don’t just represent your area, but that also represent your interests. Keep an eye on these groups for several weeks and you’re bound to notice a few folks who seem like they might be a good potential friend. Jet them a private message and get to know them.

3. Places of Worship

If you’re comfortable around religion, join or visit a house of worship in your neighborhood. This is a phenomenal way to meet people who live near you. Chances are, someone in the congregation or in leadership cares deeply about how the built environment affects your area, and they’ll be a great addition to your Local Conversation.

4. Craigslist

No, I don’t mean perusing the personals. If you need something, look for it on Craigslist. Getting rid of something? Post it on Craigslist. And don’t be afraid to be friendly with anyone you meet while transacting; local trade is a time-tested way to get to know your neighbors and build resilience. The last time I purchased something on Craigslist (a rooster), I met a man who is setting up an urban farm and distributing to local restaurants and food cooperatives. We’ve since shared baking recipes and food growing advice, and he’s offered my household some work delivering produce in the area.

5. Local Government Meetings

You don’t have to run for office, join a committee, or make any commitments just because you show up at a neighborhood meeting, a town hall, or a city council meeting. You don’t even have to have an opinion on proceedings! Just attend and introduce yourself to a few of the people there and start getting to know your community.

Images via Unsplash [1] [2].

How to Social?! And how to make the most of your newfound connections.

At this point, if you’re an introvert like me, you’re probably having heart palpitations at the thought of DM-ing someone out of the blue, or attending a public meeting. Take a deep breath, it’s going to be OK. Here are some things to keep in mind while you’re making connections, as well as some advice for making the most of these efforts.

• Start thinking like a 1st grader. Consider everyone you meet a potential new friend.

• It’s not bothering them. I promise you, 95% of the time it’s not putting anyone out to receive that Facebook message. They’re not mad at you for introducing yourself. And there’s a significant chance they’re also struggling to integrate and you’re making their life much easier.

• Don’t be afraid to introduce yourself a second, or even third, time if you run into someone frequently. Most people will be thankful for the reminder of your name, just like you’ll be thankful if you’ve forgotten theirs.

• Not sure what to say? Ask questions. How long have they lived in the area? What recommendations do they have regarding your shared interest? Why do they attend city council meetings? How did they grow those gorgeous hostas in their front yard? And as a Strong Townie, you’ve probably noticed some dangerous streets or unfortunate developments that will get a conversation going.

• If things are going well, ask for a phone number and move the conversation to text message.

Lock it in!

Now’s your chance to make a real connection. Invite your new friend to meet up at your shared comfort level, be it over video chat or in person. Be specific when you ask—set a timeframe and suggest a venue or activity. It shows that you’re serious and not just being nice by saying, “We should hang out sometime!” If socializing is something you have to coax yourself into, getting specific will also help you hold yourself accountable.

Whether your goal is to improve a local park, make a nearby street safer, hold your city council accountable for its financial decision making, or just start a Strong Towns book club, making it an intentional priority to meet new people and invite them into your efforts is going to have huge payoffs.

Cover image via Unsplash.

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